Poems

Existance
My mind is so simple my mind is so simple
When I’m not bending over my back
When I’m not bending over my back to be complex
To be intelligent, smart and to look beautiful
My mind is so perfect when I can breathe without a twitch
When I can smile without a glitch
Oh my mind what is my mind
It is just an idea when I should instead exist

The first Step to Unfeeling
The back of my head as howard said
Is the center of my head where thoughts emerge
For what purpose?
For the purpose of you asking
What purpose? And then you can be a synapse
Potentiation learning, intelligence, guilt
Prevent from loving and embracing
Intelligence and thinking are the first step to be unfeeling



Your Language is Your Wand
Your moon is freedom and your mars is extreme pristine self defeating unlogic
I’d rather hand you a horoscope sometimes and sometimes I’d rather listen
Listening is the key and is not an answer but is the key in the wall of air covering the membrane of distance between two friends
The membrane of distance is made up of liquid stable fats called language it is a hydrocarbon of sorts without any double kinks it is made to be fool proof
Language separates us from family and ourselves and our friends but for you it is a wand it is unlogic
Language is barrier but mind your own business in the language of the soul , take care of your own




Drawing Penises
I tell you a dream which in fact was reality in the center of my mind or the back of my mind as howard once called it. Sitting at the table I am drawing unaware and unrestricted and my mother comes up and scouls at me. What are you drawing penises for? What is this nonsense? She takes a pen and redraws them, as if to demonstrate what I had done already. I still did not understand.

tracking heritage

To bore you, so that you'd ask more questions, notably, to get your attention, to perch by your fastidious soul, to interrupt your macaroni recipe quest on the internet, i've devised a scheme to, i've found this in a matter of impulsive seconds procrastinating before my mcats to be worthy of writing down, my family history in russia as transcribed by myself, eating gaspacho, eating guacamole, eating cheddar cheese with my mom in the bronx. here it is about my great grandmother, here it is about my grandmother in Pryluky, Ukraine and then in St. Petersburg, russia

just a little piece of the puzzle for now: the most cohesive one i have:

" when [the] war started – worked selling clothes to scrauny hungry orphans and children. There was a blockade and the city was surrounded by water and kept products from getting there. They would receive a little bit of bread a day, and the greedy ones had died from hunger. Rosa [my grandmother] was a self controlling person and saved bread for later. When she saw that there was only a tiny bit of bread she divided it into 4 pieces and was able to save her daughter by feeding her four times a day. Some people ate their own children because they were that hungry. But they were good people and helped eachother, and ultimately a colossal amount of people died."

more on my mother:

artist, born in st. peterburg russia. 1964.

check out her artwork http://www.yelena-budylin.com

Dreams and Moods and Foods

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -

Leon Joseph Cardinal Suenens

That... I am not, especially since ultimately my dream ended with my middle school friend and I collectively trying to flush my poop down the toilet. After all of the attempts to do so Gabby flushed it down with one try! Beginners luck agggghhhggh! Just prior to that, and I don't know if you follow Make Me A Supermodel, but Salome, who killed it this week by the way in her rural farm picture posing with a cow... owned that cow, ownnned it. But anyways she was in my dream and I don't know if you have been following that show Tough Love, run by the pompous matchmaker guy, but apparently Salome, my best friend in my dream, what the hell was my subconscious on? (I guess I was dehydrated from drinking at the Court Tavern and then dancing at Tent State). But anyway Salome found some Devandra Banhardt kind of guy in my dream with black eyeliner an invidious fact, yet I was kind of happy for her but who cares because I was suprised with what looked like an ordinary cream cheese on toast sandwhich by Cort and Emily shortly thereafter. But it wasn't just a sandwhich NO! Someone ran away with $1000 worth of these sandwhiches which turned out to just be four of them. And I miscalculated this to be $200 a sandwhich but who does math calculations right, let alone in their dreams, and so these expensive sandwhiches the reasoning was that they had pot in them. And I felt so guilty and ungrateful chomping down on them as my friend Chris was retelling me their recipe.
So I forgot.... as i forget introducing my friends to my other friends. How predictable, but thank you for reading.
Let me distract you temporarily with a poorly taken picture on my part....from this summer.

Yesterday I almost set off the fire alarm in my building all because I simply misunderstood the meaning of the word broiling. But even with dictionary.com's definition of scorching hot how was I supposed to conjecture that my fish would cause such a large amount of smoke to pass through the oven; it tasted delicious paprika'd despite the brief alarm shrill.

1. whiting fish fillets - run them through cold water but rather it would be better to just let them sit in it for half an hour until the ice melts off. pat them down super dry.
2. put them on aluminum foil with a moderate amount of light olive oil spread all over like Madonna's body in the 80's when she was a promiscuous soon to be postmodern multi personality pop star
3. sprinkle paprika, squeezed lemon juice, salt, thyme, etc.
   
4. place them in an oven that is preheated 420 degrees but do not broil them
5. 8 minutes and they are done
6. makes however many fillet you can afford

I don't know if you are an omnivore, or pescitarian but enjoy this quick and easy thing before class, before work, etc etc
etc

lentil soup with quinoa

1. pot of H20/ vegetable broth
   
2. as the water is boiling insert red lentils, size: two breadths of your hand should be enough
3. insert other legumes, split peas, yellow peas
4. if you like as a kind of side note you can saute some onion and introduce them into the soup about 45 minutes in
5. dice tomatoes into small pieces to be inserted before you wrap up
   
6. stir your soup occasionally on medium heat with the cover on mostly and wait 45 minutes, if you have frozen vegetables you can add them too, i usually add broccoli and carrots
   
7. put in one breath of hand's worth of quinoa into the soup 15 minutes before you finish or at 45 minutes and add in the sauteed onions
   
8. wait 5 minutes and add tomatoes
9. wait 10 more minutes!!!!!
10. termination

well thats all for today.
listen to the new album by Woods - "Songs of Shame"
http://www.lala.com/song/4900197887179107626

I am quite fond of the song September with Pete

also Bill Callahan's - "Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle "

Here is Eid Ma Clack Shaw : http://cdn.stereogum.com/mp3/Bill%20Callahan%20-%20Eid%20Ma%20Clack%20Shaw.mp3